Seorang suami membawa isteri nya ke mahkamah syariah untuk bercerai . Hakim dan peguam Syarie bertanya ke pada si Suami :
HAKIM : Apa kah anda serius untuk menceraikan isteri Anda ?
SUAMI : Saya Serius Tuan Hakim ...
HAKIM : Boleh Saya tahu kenapa?
SUAMI : Kerana ia diperkosa, Tuan Hakim ...
HAKIM : Hah .. Seharus nya awak membelanya .. bukan menceraikan nya ..
SUAMI : Seharus nya begitu Tuan Hakim , Tapi Saya cukup bengang dan marah ...
HAKIM : kenapa pulak begitu?
SUAMI : Kerana semasa diperkosa, saya lihat isteri saya sempat tukar posisi ...
Sabtu, 26 Januari 2008
Jumaat, 25 Januari 2008
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Spelling Bee
Rabu, 23 Januari 2008
Di Satu Senja Di Musim yang lalu .....
Pada Suatu hari, sebuah bas rombongan membawa satu rombongan yang kesemua nya Wanita ,kecuali pemandu bas dan pembantu nya . Perjalanan .mereka melalui melalui beberapa estet getah, dan hutan yang sangat luas.
Tiba 2 sebuah kereta yang membawa 4 lelaki menahan bas tersebut di-satu tempat yg sunyi .
Mereka memperkenalkan diri mereka sebagai perompak dan mengarahkan semua penumpang jangan buat bising dan jangan melawan kalau mahu selamat.
Sorang perompak berkata..
” Keluarkan semua wang dan barang kemas yang kamu ada..!!Cepat..!!”
Sorang wanita muda kemudian nya bersuara …..
” ..tapi..kami tak bawak barang kemas, dan wang kami pun ada dalam bank , yang ada cuma sedikit wang untuk belanja makan , tak berbaloi kamu nak rompak !!..”
Perompak tu pun berfikir, dan berkata ..
“Ha..tak berbaloi ya ..gini la..kalu tadak duit dan barang kemas , ..kami akan rogol kamu SEMUA , baru berbaloi ….ahahhaa..”
Seorang Gadis muda mencelah ..
” Alalaa…takkan la makcik2 kat belakang tu nak rogol jugak…. lagi tak berbaloi ..”
Belum pun sempat perompak tu berkata , tetiba sorang makcik berdiri..
” Oi Siti, kau tak paham ker..kalau dia kata nak rogol semua SEMUA..SEMUA la..”
Tiba 2 sebuah kereta yang membawa 4 lelaki menahan bas tersebut di-satu tempat yg sunyi .
Mereka memperkenalkan diri mereka sebagai perompak dan mengarahkan semua penumpang jangan buat bising dan jangan melawan kalau mahu selamat.
Sorang perompak berkata..
” Keluarkan semua wang dan barang kemas yang kamu ada..!!Cepat..!!”
Sorang wanita muda kemudian nya bersuara …..
” ..tapi..kami tak bawak barang kemas, dan wang kami pun ada dalam bank , yang ada cuma sedikit wang untuk belanja makan , tak berbaloi kamu nak rompak !!..”
Perompak tu pun berfikir, dan berkata ..
“Ha..tak berbaloi ya ..gini la..kalu tadak duit dan barang kemas , ..kami akan rogol kamu SEMUA , baru berbaloi ….ahahhaa..”
Seorang Gadis muda mencelah ..
” Alalaa…takkan la makcik2 kat belakang tu nak rogol jugak…. lagi tak berbaloi ..”
Belum pun sempat perompak tu berkata , tetiba sorang makcik berdiri..
” Oi Siti, kau tak paham ker..kalau dia kata nak rogol semua SEMUA..SEMUA la..”
Ahad, 20 Januari 2008
Sabtu, 19 Januari 2008
Master Mind , Gold Mine and Lost Mind ....
Einstien is known for his genius mind, Newton is known for his extraordinary mind,
Bill gates for his brilliant mind , Dr Mahathir as the Master Mind and ..... Abdullah for his NEVER MIND !!! ... Samy Vellu ..Hmmmmm ALL MINE !!!!!! and the
latest one ..... " when she lift up her skirt , I lost my mind " said our health minister ....
Our Minister's Speech .....
Recently, I was invited to a function hosted by one of the local University. Our Deputy PM , Dato’ Najib was invited and supposed to deliver his speech at the function.
The Professor who is the MC of the function introducing the Minister said , ” Dato’ , the skirt of a young lady must be short enough to draw the attention of men . We hope your speech will also be short enough to retain our attention.
The Minister , when opening his address said ,” … just as the skirt must be long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to be attractive , my address will be long enough to cover the message and short enough to retain your interest.”
Jumaat, 18 Januari 2008
A Professor and Mat Rempit .....
After many years of teaching at UKM, a Respected Professor retired . Naturally , he was honored when invited to deliver the annual endowment lecture, normally delivered by Ministers. As he was nervously waiting to deliver his address, a young graduate student approached him , handed him an envelope and said , “I know how important this evening is for you. Please open and read this note just before you give your speech .”
Hoping for encouragement and inspiration , the professor ,just before the speech opened the note. It simply stated , ” ..Keep it short , the football game between Manchester United and Malaysian selection starts at 8.30pm.”
How Stock Market Works ....
If you dont understand , how the stock market works , read this ………
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for RM10.
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around,went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at RM10 and as supply started to diminish,the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at RM20.
This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer rate increased to RM25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at RM50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at RM35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for RM50.”
The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for RM10.
The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around,went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at RM10 and as supply started to diminish,the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at RM20.
This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer rate increased to RM25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at RM50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.
In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at RM35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for RM50.”
The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!
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