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Selasa, 1 Julai 2008
Khamis, 26 Jun 2008
Khamis, 22 Mei 2008
BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ???
The above PHOTO Was snapped with flash and lights 'ON'
IF you wonder what u will see with the lights 'OFF' Pls CLICK HERE
Sabtu, 10 Mei 2008
Jumaat, 9 Mei 2008
A Tenant Story ......
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for RM1500. They did their thing, and before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary to write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for RM500 and enclose the following typed note:
"Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a cheque for RM500 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.
However, I renting your apartment , I discover the following :
#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was too large."
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for RM500 with the following note:
"Dear Sir:
#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for RM500 and enclose the following typed note:
"Dear Madam:
Enclosed find a cheque for RM500 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:
#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.
However, I renting your apartment , I discover the following :
#1 - it had been previously occupied,
#2 - there wasn't any heat, and
#3 - it was too large."
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for RM500 with the following note:
"Dear Sir:
#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on.
#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.
Isnin, 5 Mei 2008
This OLD Man can exactly tell your age ....
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $8000 and felt really good about the result. On her way home she stopped at boutique to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the salesgirl, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" . The girl look at her and said "About 35," .
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonalds for lunch, and asked the order taker the same question, to which the reply was, "Oh you look about 29?"
"I am actually 47." That made her feel really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is bad, but when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
As there was no one around, the woman thought, "What the hell", and let him slip his hand up her skirt. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "Ok, You are 47."
Stunned the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonalds!"
"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.
After that she went into McDonalds for lunch, and asked the order taker the same question, to which the reply was, "Oh you look about 29?"
"I am actually 47." That made her feel really good.
While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.
He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is bad, but when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."
As there was no one around, the woman thought, "What the hell", and let him slip his hand up her skirt. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "Ok, You are 47."
Stunned the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonalds!"
Selasa, 29 April 2008
Just For Laugh !!
When you travel to Japan , you can hardly find instructions in English . If there is , you still have to figure out the meaning ..... look at the sign below , sometimes it can make you laugh ...
Sabtu, 26 April 2008
Kisah Seorang Kawan .....
Aku ada cerita ni... lawak la jugak.. tapi jangan ketawa tau... Aku baru berkahwin setahun yang lepas dan duduk dengan isteri aku. Kami duduk berdua sahaja sebab belum dikurniakan anak. Aku ni ada satu kegemaran -iaitu makan telur rebus. Aku pun taktahu kenapa aku suka makan telur rebus, sedap agaknya. Sebelum aku kahwin, aku memang gila telur rebus. Pagi petang siang malam makan telur rebus. Tapi semenjak aku kahwin ni aku terpaksa berkorbanlah, iaitu dengan meninggalkan tabiat aku ini. Lama juga aku dah tak pekena telur rebus ni.. sebab orang rumah aku masak sedap-sedap. . so aku dah tak kisah lagilah..
Ceritanya begini, bulan lepas masa aku balik kerja, tiba-tiba kereta aku rosak.. akupun telefon bini aku katakan aku balik lambat sebab kena menapak. Sebab lapar akupun singgah satu kedai makan tu... ada telur rebus lah.. akupun makan nasi dengan telur rebus.. lepastu aku order telur rebus lebih lagi untuk diratah. Sebelum balik aku bungkus lagi 10 biji telur rebus untuk makan sambil berjalan balik nanti. Tiba je kat rumah aku rasa amatlah kenyang.. maklumlah balas
dendam sebab lama tak pekena telur rebus. Sebelum aku masuk kerumah,i steri aku tiba-tiba cakap dia ada 'surprise' untuk aku malam ni. Dia suruh aku tutup mata dengan kain hitam yang diikat kemas dibelakang kepalaku. Dan dipimpinnya aku sampai ke meja makan Aku duduk dikerusi dan isteriku pesan jangan cuba buka ikatan yang menutup mataku.
Aku nak pergi toilet sebab perutku mula buat hal, tapi malaslah nak spoilkan 'surprise' isteriku ini. Aku pun tahan ler... Tetiba telefon berbunyi, isteriku pergi mengangkatnya. Apa lagi ada chance aku pun melepaskan kentut yang ditahan sekian lama.. Fuuuuhhh lega rasanya... bau boleh tahan... maklumler berapa biji telur tah aku bedal tadi... Alamak.. ada lagi satu
la.. aku pun angkat sebelah punggung dan lepaskan satu das lagi.. bunyinya PROOOTTT!! .. fuh bau jangan cakap beb.. aku pun tak tahan bau dia... aku kipas pakai tangan angin dia kasi kurang sikit bau dia... adalah macam bau telur tembelang sikit.. Tetiba aku dengar bunyi telefon berdering lagi... hai lamanya tunggu isteri aku ni, aku tak sabar lagi ni nak tahu surprise dia ni. Aku terasa ada lagilah, kali ni memang aku rasa power punyalah.. aku kumpul dulu kasi padu..
lepastu aku bangun, tonggeng sikit dan lepaskan angin taufan tu... PRRROOOOOTTT! !!!... fuhh lega... bergegar sikit meja makan dibuatnya... peh tak tahan aku bau dia power gila.. aku tutup hidung aku.. aku rasa bau dia ada sikit-sikit macam bangkai la.. mau mati bunga atas meja makan aku ni.. sambil tu aku sebut 'ahhhh.... lega...'. Adalah dekat 5 minit baru bau bangkai tu hilang.. Lepas tu isteri aku kembali dan minta maaf sebab lambat.. lalu dia kata 'SURPRISE!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!' dan suruh aku buka kain penutup mata aku.. laaa birthday aku hari ni le... camne boleh lupa ni.. Aku buka le kain penutup mata aku.. mulutku terus melopong... ALAMAK!!! Benda pertama aku lihat.. muka merah padam pak mertua aku, mak mertua aku, adik ipar aku dua orang, duduk keliling meja makan. Bos aku dengan jiran sebelah rumah rumah aku pun ada!!. ? jadi aku pun nak kaber malu, aku tanya la kat pak mertua aku. 'dah lama ke pak sampai?'.Dan pak mertua aku pun jawab.'Dah lama. Sebelum kentut pertama lagi!!!
Ceritanya begini, bulan lepas masa aku balik kerja, tiba-tiba kereta aku rosak.. akupun telefon bini aku katakan aku balik lambat sebab kena menapak. Sebab lapar akupun singgah satu kedai makan tu... ada telur rebus lah.. akupun makan nasi dengan telur rebus.. lepastu aku order telur rebus lebih lagi untuk diratah. Sebelum balik aku bungkus lagi 10 biji telur rebus untuk makan sambil berjalan balik nanti. Tiba je kat rumah aku rasa amatlah kenyang.. maklumlah balas
dendam sebab lama tak pekena telur rebus. Sebelum aku masuk kerumah,i steri aku tiba-tiba cakap dia ada 'surprise' untuk aku malam ni. Dia suruh aku tutup mata dengan kain hitam yang diikat kemas dibelakang kepalaku. Dan dipimpinnya aku sampai ke meja makan Aku duduk dikerusi dan isteriku pesan jangan cuba buka ikatan yang menutup mataku.
Aku nak pergi toilet sebab perutku mula buat hal, tapi malaslah nak spoilkan 'surprise' isteriku ini. Aku pun tahan ler... Tetiba telefon berbunyi, isteriku pergi mengangkatnya. Apa lagi ada chance aku pun melepaskan kentut yang ditahan sekian lama.. Fuuuuhhh lega rasanya... bau boleh tahan... maklumler berapa biji telur tah aku bedal tadi... Alamak.. ada lagi satu
la.. aku pun angkat sebelah punggung dan lepaskan satu das lagi.. bunyinya PROOOTTT!! .. fuh bau jangan cakap beb.. aku pun tak tahan bau dia... aku kipas pakai tangan angin dia kasi kurang sikit bau dia... adalah macam bau telur tembelang sikit.. Tetiba aku dengar bunyi telefon berdering lagi... hai lamanya tunggu isteri aku ni, aku tak sabar lagi ni nak tahu surprise dia ni. Aku terasa ada lagilah, kali ni memang aku rasa power punyalah.. aku kumpul dulu kasi padu..
lepastu aku bangun, tonggeng sikit dan lepaskan angin taufan tu... PRRROOOOOTTT! !!!... fuhh lega... bergegar sikit meja makan dibuatnya... peh tak tahan aku bau dia power gila.. aku tutup hidung aku.. aku rasa bau dia ada sikit-sikit macam bangkai la.. mau mati bunga atas meja makan aku ni.. sambil tu aku sebut 'ahhhh.... lega...'. Adalah dekat 5 minit baru bau bangkai tu hilang.. Lepas tu isteri aku kembali dan minta maaf sebab lambat.. lalu dia kata 'SURPRISE!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!' dan suruh aku buka kain penutup mata aku.. laaa birthday aku hari ni le... camne boleh lupa ni.. Aku buka le kain penutup mata aku.. mulutku terus melopong... ALAMAK!!! Benda pertama aku lihat.. muka merah padam pak mertua aku, mak mertua aku, adik ipar aku dua orang, duduk keliling meja makan. Bos aku dengan jiran sebelah rumah rumah aku pun ada!!. ? jadi aku pun nak kaber malu, aku tanya la kat pak mertua aku. 'dah lama ke pak sampai?'.Dan pak mertua aku pun jawab.'Dah lama. Sebelum kentut pertama lagi!!!
'GentleMENG Babi' cakap ikut DANG
Satu lagi aksi tak senonoh yang berhormat kita ... 'Tahniah' kerana memilih beliau .
Tontoni lah Video ini .... banyak yang kita boleh belajar disini termasuk vocabulary baru , 'GentleMeng Babi', cakap IKUT DANG' dan sebagai nya .... HA HA HA , HO HO HO , begitulah tergelak habis
Tontoni lah Video ini .... banyak yang kita boleh belajar disini termasuk vocabulary baru , 'GentleMeng Babi', cakap IKUT DANG' dan sebagai nya .... HA HA HA , HO HO HO , begitulah tergelak habis
Melucukan ... Gelagat bodoh Pemimpin Kita
Saksikan sendiri Video ini , kalau begini lah aksi pemimpin kita , layak kah mereka2 ini di-panggil yang berhormat ?
Rabu, 16 April 2008
Selasa, 15 April 2008
Isnin, 14 April 2008
Meet Beautiful and Humorous Women here ...
YES! you can meet the Girls below in person ... and guarantee , they will entertain you for free ... just Click at the photo...
Ahad, 13 April 2008
A Lawyer and A Defense Attorney
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial...
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.
Q. WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station ... a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.
Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.
Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.
Q. Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?
A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.
Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.
Q. WITH YOUR LIFE? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station ... a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.
Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.
Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.
Q. Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?
A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.
Sabtu, 12 April 2008
A Guide to Fishing....
Ismail cukup tersohor kerana kepandaian nya menangkap ikan . Jika ada pertandingan menjala ikan yg disertai nya, ismail pasti berjaya mendapat tangkapan terbanyak . Kerana itu ia di gelar 'Raja Jala' . Satu hari Crew dari TV3 datang untuk interview 'Raja Jala' untuk disiarkan kebolehan nya dalam rancangan Majalah 3......
Crew Majalah 3 : " Boleh Pak Cik ceritakan rahsia kebolehan Pak Cik ? "
Raja Jala : " Senang saja petua nya ...Pak Cik tenguk cara isteri Pak Cik tidur bila Pak Cik bangun waktu pagi . Kalau dia mengiring kekiri , Pak Cik nanti tebar Jala kekiri saja . Kalau dia mengereng keKanan , maka Pak Cik tebar keKanan aje lah , Pasti sekali banyak ikan dapat ... itu lah panduan Pak Cik hari2 sebelum pergi menangkap ikan ".
Crew Majalah 3 : " oh Gitu .. Bagaimana pulak kalau pagi tu isteri Pak Cik tidur terlentang ?
Raja Jala : " lagi bagus ... Pak Cik tak pergi cari rezeki lah hari tu... dah 'rezeki ' doh ada depan mata , baham je lah .....
Crew Majalah 3 : " Boleh Pak Cik ceritakan rahsia kebolehan Pak Cik ? "
Raja Jala : " Senang saja petua nya ...Pak Cik tenguk cara isteri Pak Cik tidur bila Pak Cik bangun waktu pagi . Kalau dia mengiring kekiri , Pak Cik nanti tebar Jala kekiri saja . Kalau dia mengereng keKanan , maka Pak Cik tebar keKanan aje lah , Pasti sekali banyak ikan dapat ... itu lah panduan Pak Cik hari2 sebelum pergi menangkap ikan ".
Crew Majalah 3 : " oh Gitu .. Bagaimana pulak kalau pagi tu isteri Pak Cik tidur terlentang ?
Raja Jala : " lagi bagus ... Pak Cik tak pergi cari rezeki lah hari tu... dah 'rezeki ' doh ada depan mata , baham je lah .....
Selasa, 8 April 2008
Dr Awang Adek Now is a 'Bomoh Urut'
Kenal kah anda personaliti di Gambar bawah ? Sebelum Election beliau adalah Timbalan Menteri Kewangan , dan semasa kempen pilihanraya , beliau di Ura2 kan Menjadi Menteri Besar Kelantan sekira nya BN berjaya merampas kelantan. Bagaimana pun , Beliau kalah di-kampong sendiri ia itu di Bacok dan gagal merampas kerusi Menteri Besar dari Tok Guru . So He is out of job now ... tapi nasib baik lah beliau ada kemahiran mengurut yang di warisi nya turun temurun. Jika Sufiah Yusoff (gadis Genius Mathematic) memilih utk menjadi 'Teman sosial' dan meletakkan harga 130 pound seJam , bekas YB kita ini cuma charge RM60 untuk satu sessi ..
Apa pula
terjadi dengan Nasib seOrang lagi YB Doktor . Beliau menceritakan dalam BLOG nya bahawa beliau berasal dari keluarga miskin. Semasa kecil beliau pernah bekerja sebagai 'penyapu sampah ' bersama 2 orang Bangla untuk menampung wang sekolah nya . Jadi 'Penyapu' ada-lah sebagai satu alat mencari rezeki halal hingga dia berjaya menjadi seorang Doktor Gigi . Penyapu juga menjadi satu 'nostalgia' dalam hidup nya, hingga semasa beliau menjadi MB Selangor , beliau menghadiahkan penyapu kepada wakil2 Rakyat nya . Sekarang ini salepas beliau tidak lagi menjadi MB , beliau ingin kembali bersama2 Rakyat , memberi khidmat dan menabur jasa nya walaupun hanya dengan menyapu sampah. Tabik YB xMB kita ...
Apa pula
terjadi dengan Nasib seOrang lagi YB Doktor . Beliau menceritakan dalam BLOG nya bahawa beliau berasal dari keluarga miskin. Semasa kecil beliau pernah bekerja sebagai 'penyapu sampah ' bersama 2 orang Bangla untuk menampung wang sekolah nya . Jadi 'Penyapu' ada-lah sebagai satu alat mencari rezeki halal hingga dia berjaya menjadi seorang Doktor Gigi . Penyapu juga menjadi satu 'nostalgia' dalam hidup nya, hingga semasa beliau menjadi MB Selangor , beliau menghadiahkan penyapu kepada wakil2 Rakyat nya . Sekarang ini salepas beliau tidak lagi menjadi MB , beliau ingin kembali bersama2 Rakyat , memberi khidmat dan menabur jasa nya walaupun hanya dengan menyapu sampah. Tabik YB xMB kita ...
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